A Perfect World

I seem to have lost my ability to dream.  

Why? 

I guess because I fear that my dreams will never come true. I'm afraid that dreaming, or wanting anything means that I have to do something about it. I'm currently immobile, paralyzed. 

I can't say I'm depressed because there is no dark cloud enveloping me. I know the difference. I just can't move forward. I'm afraid to get out of my comfort zone.

Now, I've figured out a way for me to start dreaming. I'll just think that the world is perfect. If it is, then everything that I hope and wish for will come true.

So if the world is perfect, I want to be happy.

I want to have a stable job that I'm passionate about.  One that gives me hundreds of thousands a month.  

I want to provide for my family.  I want to have my mom retire. I want to be the family breadwinner. 

I want to travel all around the world with my son and family. I want to go to South Korea and shop for skin care and makeup! 

I wanna visit my family in Las Vegas and Canada. 

I want a beautiful, homey 5 bedroom house with a swimming pool. 

I want to be able to maintain our current car.  I wanna get brand new tires, full body paint job, detailing, and fix everything that needs to be fixed/replaced. 

I wanna buy a white SUV too. 

I want to lose weight and be so physically fit, muscles and all. I wanna be a health buff. 

I want to have glass skin and beautiful white teeth. 

I want to have enough money to always help people who are in need. 

I also want to get married to a man who loves my kid like his own.  A man who will provide for all my needs, financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want us to be able to chill to the same songs, old school rnb. 

There. If the world is perfect, my life would be too.